Fair Trade Drug Business Fails Due to Lack of Demand


A Bondi-based dealer specialising in vegan, organic, fair trade party drugs has gone out of business after recreational users opted to stick with conventional options.

“I’m quite surprised it didn’t work out,” the dealer said. “I really thought I’d found a gap in the market.”

However polls have revealed that drug users actively refuse to apply their usual standards of ethics, common sense and hygiene to their drug use.

“I always eat organic and will only drink fair trade coffee, but drugs are different,” one user said. “Coke’s meant to be a bit of harmless fun and it’s a real downer to think about how many people died getting it out of the poverty-stricken countries it comes from and into my nose.”

Another user agreed, adding: “Usually I don’t even like touching a public toilet without using a piece of toilet paper as a barrier, but I’ll snort a line off pretty much anything.”

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