Checkpoints will be set up at the entrances to the popular coastal walk between Bondi to Coogee this weekend in a bid to weed out ugly people, sweaty runners and others who might ruin perfect selfie opportunities for beautiful people.
Chloe, a 22-year-old Tamarama local who describes herself as an “entrepreneur/model/beauty blogger”, will be responsible for policing the Bondi entrance to the walk on weekends.
“I’ve worked on the door at all of Sydney’s best clubs, so I really know the sorts of things to look out for,” she said in response to questions about her qualifications for the role. “If a woman isn’t wearing at least one Lululemon item and carrying a turmeric latte, it’s unlikely I’ll let her in.”
India, 19, whose LinkedIn profile describes her as an “entrepreneur/model/DJ”, will be stationed at the Coogee entrance. She described the job as “a fat-free cake walk”.
“The process of natural selection and rise of cheap injectables mean there aren’t a lot of ugly people in the eastern suburbs anyway,” she said, adding that she would simply be pointing “undesirables” towards the less-crowded Coogee to Maroubra walk.
The Sydney Sentinel 
I have an ugly stick for your stuck up arse you low life.people like you end up in my boot.
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Only trying to make people laugh, sorry this one didn’t do it for you.
Best,
Sydney Sentinel
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I got a good laugh 🙂
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Appreciate it. Like Sydney Sentinel on Facebook if get the time. Appreciate it.
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Its just a joke mate. No need to threaten murder. sheesh.
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Who the hell do you think you are
Well I will tell you
YOU ARE A BULLY and you could potentially cause someone to hurt themselves if they get rejected
You are disgusting
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Hey there, sorry if this story upset you.
However, this is a satirical website, and this story is poking fun at how glamorous the Eastern Suburbs have become – it wasn’t meant to make anyone feel bad.
I hope you give us another chance, and maybe even have a laugh at some of our future stories.
Best,
Sydney Sentinel
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Lets hope life gets ugly for this bitch 🙂
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Glad you had a laugh, thanks for reading.
Best,
Sydney Sentinel
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FUNNY … also the comments from people who have no sense of humor equally funny 🙂
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Fuck yes another excuse not to do exercise! I’ll just do the Bondi to Beach Burrito instead =)
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If i am lucky enough to “once again do that walk” i am sure i’ll be let pass by Cloe -no products on hand- my build up muscles and toight ass, have allways been enough.
So, bring it on Chloe!! Lets bounce that entry!!
Hi from México.
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Tumeric latte, not an organic tumeric latte?
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Ugly lives matter!!!
Sorry, I’m American… we use that chant for everydamnthing
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How many people don’t have a sense of humor, that cannot tell satire from reality?
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I’ve never cunt punted anyone before but this Chloe girl…..
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Lol. I guess I was one of the ugly people living in eastern suburb 😉
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spose that was me to back in the eighties coogee was my home back then .the back of the moon & the coogee bay hotel my drinking places.& selinas . what a great place it was then
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It wasn’t my looks, I just paid for entry today when I pulled up in my yellow lambo… vanity has a price. See you around bikini cafe Chloe
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If Chloe really was a Tamarama local she would know in the East you just do Bondi to Bronte walk with a green smoothie …I guess at 22 she has no idea and pays for fake followers and likes to sound more believable 😂😂
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